What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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