He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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