meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
