What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
