R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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