First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize