well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
