There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
