It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
