Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
