That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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