Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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