you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
