Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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