help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
