So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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