it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I came so hard my ears popped.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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