I must be too annoying 4 u.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
