hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
