I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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