drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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