and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
