hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
