The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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