i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Text me some of your sweat
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
