So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
wow bdsm is so cute
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
