so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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