If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
