I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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