I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize