didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
