Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I don't think brook has ever known best
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
