i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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