that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
