I wish I could teleport
4 words: hood of his car
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
