Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
not ubering you a puppy
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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