So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize