I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
