Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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