Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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