Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
