she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
