I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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