He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
