five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
