she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
