After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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