is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
