My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
