she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I had to cum in my sink.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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