I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
