I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The struggles of a small town man whore
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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