I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
