Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
