he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
