its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Congratulations! We have a period
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
