did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
