And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
