Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
