There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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