Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
