guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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