He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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