your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
