the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
