who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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