this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
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