we have officially lost it.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
